Sex and love addiction
Sex and love addiction is a compulsive, out-of-control pattern of sexual or relational behaviour used to manage emotions or stress—even when it leads to negative consequences. It’s not about frequency or specific sexual acts; it’s about loss of control, obsession, and using sex or relationships to cope with difficult feelings.
What is sex and love addiction?
Sex addiction often includes three key features:
Secretive: Behaviours are hidden, lied about, or compartmentalized.
Shameful: The person experiences guilt, remorse, or self-loathing.
Harmful: The behaviour causes emotional, relational, or sometimes physical damage to oneself or others.
These behaviours are not because a person is bad, or immoral or shameful. These habits develop in response to trauma or emotional wounds. Because the behaviours are secretive and shame-filled, many people feel isolated and afraid to seek help. These patterns can be painful, confusing, and progressive but with the right support, change is possible.
Am I a sex addict?
To help you understand whether sex or love addiction may be affecting you, take the Sex Addiction Screening Tool (SAST):
Answer “Yes” or “No” for each question based on your sexual or romantic behaviour.
Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?
Did your parents have trouble with sexual behavior?
Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
Do you feel that your sexual behavior is not normal?
Do you ever feel bad about your sexual behavior?
Has your sexual behavior ever created problems for you and your family?
Have you ever sought help for sexual behavior you did not like?
Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual behavior?
Are any of your sexual activities against the law?
Have you made efforts to quit a type of sexual activity and failed?
Do you hide some of your sexual behaviors from others?
Have you attempted to stop some parts of your sexual activity?
Have you felt degraded by your sexual behaviors?
When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?
Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire?
Have important parts of your life (such as job, family, friends, leisure activities) been neglected because you were spending too much time on sex?
Do you ever think your sexual desire is stronger than you are?
Is sex almost all you think about?
Has sex (or romantic fantasies) been a way for you to escape your problems?
Has sex become the most important thing in your life?
If you answered “yes” to three or more questions, contact me for a free 15 Minute consultation to see how I can help you.
As a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), Nick Abraham offers:
Comprehensive assessments (SDI-4.0, IPAT, PTSI-R, PSS, SDMI)
Tailored treatment planning
Compassionate, individualized support
Start your healing journey today.
For more information on working with Nick, please contact us or book an initial consultation.